


The Bad Poetry

by oceanknives



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, I'm putting all my FH poems here, Poetry, poetry collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:15:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23263063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceanknives/pseuds/oceanknives
Summary: A collection of poems about the Bad Kids, to which I may add chapters later.
Comments: 17
Kudos: 22





	1. there is a gun and there is a light

**Author's Note:**

> This one is a two-parter I wrote about Riz. Spoilers for the episodes "Daddies and Demons" and "Blast from the Passed" of Dimension 20 Live.

there is a gun and there is a light. the gun is in your hand and it is not yours. the light is in the sky and it is not yours. people are yelling and you're thinking - you're always thinking.

there is your hand and there is the man. your hand is still holding the gun, and the gun still isn't yours. the man is your father, or maybe he isn't. either way, it hurts, and the gun is his, and the gun is shaking. people are asking question and you have no answers, for once.

the gun isn't yours, but the decision is. you think, maybe, things this important shouldn't be yours. the gun is in your hand and the light is in the sky and the voices are in your head. you hold the gun towards the light like one holds a magnifying glass towards the sun, and you think you should lower it like one lowers the blade of a guillotine -

in the end, you do nothing.  
there is still blood on your hands.  
the blood is everyone's.

* * *

there is a gun and there is a light. nothing is yours and it doesn't matter. it's all real, this time. people are burning and you're hurting - you're always hurting.

there is your hand and there is the man. your hand is empty because it is not grasping him. you think, maybe, it shouldn't. the man is empty because he has never held you. you think, maybe, he can't. people are giving away answers and you don't want to hear them, for once.

nothing is yours, least of all the narrative, so you don't see it coming. there is a gun and there is a light, but more importantly, there is the man. the gun is in his hand and the light is on his head and there are no voices this time. they were all wrong anyway. he holds the gun like one points fingers, and he puts his eyes on you like one puts a crown on a prince -

in the end, you do everything.  
there is still blood on your hands.  
the blood is his.  
the blood is innocent.


	2. a horn goes through your heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is about Kristen ! Spoilers for the episode "The Forest of the Nightmare King" of Dimension 20 Live.

a horn goes through your heart. it shouldn't be there.

you look up and see emptiness where the face of betrayal should be.  
you look around and see empty space where the people you love should be.  
you look inside and, where you used to feel safe, you only find doubt and a stab wound. you find the broken faith you've thrown at the world in desperation, hoping something would catch it. you find pain. you find guilt.  
and you wonder : why are you still doing this ? was it truly worth it ? did the war need to be fought ? did it need to be fought by you ? haven't you lost enough already ? haven't you been ripped apart enough already ? you've been chosen, over and over, by things you didn't choose, by destinies you didn't want to fill, and oh, god, have you only ever existed to be used ?  
you wonder if the sun would have allowed this to happen, had you not stopped believing in him. you wonder if he wanted this to happen, since you had.

your blood drips down on the altar of a forgotten god and, as you fall to the ground, abandoned to something you can't even name, you can only wonder if you weren't born to be sacrificed.


	3. you jump, eyes closed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's one about Adaine. Spoilers for the episode "Fearful Symmetry" of Dimension 20 Live.

you're standing at a cliff's edge and there are things you don't want to see. your eyes are closed and your hands are bleeding, empty, hungry.  
you jump, eyes closed, because emptiness feels like the right choice, and you fall, eyes open, as you stare into the face of grief. it is your own, and it is devastating.  
you hit the water, cold, familiar, and you sink like you were meant to, born to, like the ones before you. you sink and you drown and you stop breathing - you fight against the jagged edges of the ocean and it is fine.  
the drowning is fine because you've been drowning in fear your whole life anyway, you were born with water in your lungs, and this one tastes like salt and doubt and loneliness so you make it your own. the sinking is fine because at least now something will hold you close, and if it must be the raging sea, then so be it.  
you open your eyes on a pedestal. the world wants answers you don't have. you're used to this. you have questions you don't want. this is new, because you're a clever girl and this is what you're good at. still, you reply, because you've been given up on too much and god dammit you won't let it happen again.  
you keep fighting, because that's the scary thing to do and you've learned to be brave.

maybe there's hope for you yet.


	4. what will do after you've saved the world ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is about all the Bad Kids, and consequences. This isn't necessarily focused on a particular plot point as it is more hypothetical, but it does allude to elements from the episode "Fearful Symmetry" of Dimension 20 Live.

you, who can only exist in riddles.   
who are you beyond the search ?   
is there anything other than red thread in your veins ?   
oh, untangler, what clues will you live through   
once the mystery is solved ?

you, who was born to serve a light you stopped seeing.   
who are you beyond the doubt ?   
are you even a person, or just a breathing sacrifice ?   
oh, questioner, who will you be   
once you get an answer ?

you, who breathes anger like it's oxygen.   
who are you beyond the rebellion ?   
how will you deal with a life that settles down ?   
oh, revolutionary, what will you do with peace   
once the war is won ?

you, who can only live under expectations.   
who are you beyond the validation ?   
can you look in the mirror knowing your golden armour is plated ?   
oh, inheritor, how will you deal with the past   
once it catches up with you ?

you, who faces bruises with flowers.   
who are you beyond the kindness ?   
can you live bearing people's sacrifices ?   
oh, mediator, who will be there to catch you   
once the world hardens its blows ?

you, who can only picture a future where you're drowning.   
who are you beyond the spite ?   
who will you be without an antagonist ?   
oh, oracle, how will you know you're good   
once you've destroyed the bad ?

oh, children, what will time do to you ?


	5. i wonder if the sun-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is about Ayda! It's a piece I wrote about the actual sun but reworked to fit my favourite phoenix.

i wonder, sometimes, it the sun ever gets lonely.  
if she resents the stars and their clusters and constellations. if she cries, knowing she's alone in her star map.  
i wonder if the sun ever gets angry.  
if she knows no one can hear her scream, deafened in her ocean of emptiness. if she flares out in hope she'll burn something - anything.  
i wonder is the sun ever gets scared.  
if she sees her light drown out the sky and worries about being too loud. if she fears no one will ever be able to look at her.

i wonder, sometimes, if the sun hates herself.


End file.
